


choirs threaten in voices i only feel

by wolfchester



Series: another universe [3]
Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Drug Abuse, Gen, drug mention, harry's a fcking meeeess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-18 18:43:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20317717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfchester/pseuds/wolfchester
Summary: he's throwing his life away, and he knows it.





	choirs threaten in voices i only feel

**Author's Note:**

> daaaaamn daniel! back at it again with uploading fics that are NOT the ones you've had unfinished for literal years !!
> 
> (sorry for all those waiting for another chapter of 'a million little battles' - i promise it's coming soon!!)
> 
> part 3 of my harry/allie series yay. this little piece gives us a peek into harry's addiction to opioids. another prelude to the main event, which is the multi-chapter mentioned above.
> 
> title from perfume genius' song 'choir' xoxo

This new world has been breaking him down day by fucking day.

What are you supposed to do when everything that made you, _ you _, is stripped away in an instant? All your money, your things, your girlfriend, your power, your family. Who are you supposed to be? And how are you supposed to feel when no one gives even the tiniest shit?

Harry knows he fucked up in regards to Cassandra. He was pissed when she won against him as class president, sure, but he didn’t wish _ death _ on her. He’s not a monster. Fucking hell.

There’s no way Allie’s forgiven him. The way he treated her sister, what he said, what happened after that--the consequences of something as awful as that don’t just go away with a kind word and a snapping of fingers. Allie told him that Dewey was messed up in the first place, that she doesn’t blame Harry for what happened to her sister. He thinks that’s very big of her, and appreciates her coming over to his house to check on him, but he swears that’s not the truth.

Everyone hates him. He can see it in the way the boys of the Guard look at him. Gordie and Grizz stare at him with contempt as they pass each other in the cafeteria or on the street. Kelly won’t speak to him, too caught up in her fantasy of being a doctor and dating Will to care about how he’s doing. But most people just leave him alone. 

Allie’s the only one who’s taken any kind of interest in how he’s doing, even if he’s sure she wasn’t being sincere and the moment he thought they had while lying on his bed together was just that--a moment. A single hour in a universe of many. She doesn’t really care. He knows it deep down.

And then there’s Campbell. Perhaps the only other person who takes notice of him anymore. 

* * *

“Campbell, please,” Harry begs. “C’mon. Just one more.”

Campbell shakes his head. “No, dude. I’ve given you enough. Any more and it might kill you.” He tucks the container of pills back into his pocket and leans back in the car seat, too chill for someone in the middle of a drug deal. Well--maybe chill enough, seeing as there’s barely any law enforcement around anymore.

“Since when do you care if it kills me or not?” 

Campbell raises an eyebrow and looks intently at Harry. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t care about _ you _, per se. I just don’t want to end up executed by Allie and her fucking cronies for being complicit in your overdose. I could do with my head still on my neck, thanks.”

Harry groans and rubs a hand over his eyes. Tired. Sick. “I fucking hate you.”

“I know.” Campbell opens the passenger door. “We done?”

“Yeah, yeah, hold on.” Harry digs around in the backpack at his feet. “What do you want this time? I have a couple packs of Chips Ahoy, a bottle of Grey Goose, some cigarettes…”

His friend (a loose term) sighs. “Harry, you know what I really want.”

Silence falls. Harry stops fishing through the backpack and leans back to rest on his elbows, head resting on the steering wheel of his Maserati. Defeated. “Yeah,” he whispers. “I know.”

Satisfied, Campbell opens the door wider and moves to step outside. “Good.” A cold night wind brushes past him and into the car. Harry shivers. 

“Wait--” Harry lifts his head. “I really don’t want to do this, man. I don’t have it in me. Maybe once. But not now.” He pinches the bridge of his nose like he’s fighting off a headache. “Jesus, Campbell. I don’t want to be mayor of this fucking town.”

Campbell sighs again and reaches over to touch Harry’s shoulder. “Look, Harry, buddy--I’m not gonna explain it to you again. It’s fucking cold out here and Elle’s making me dinner so I wanna get home. You know why it’s important that you attend that debate. You know why it has to be you, not me, up there on stage. You know Allie and those pigs she calls her _ Guard _ need to be kicked out.” He squeezes Harry’s shoulder then lets go, leaving his seat and stepping out of the car. He ducks his head back inside for one final comment. “I don’t care that you don’t want to do it. I know you will.” The pill container in Campbell’s pocket rattles as he closes the door. 

Harry brushes his fingers over the plastic of the baggie he holds, feeling the familiarly smooth edges of the little white pills. His mouth feels dry just looking at them.

He knows what Campbell wants. He’s not an idiot. Well, maybe he is. Dumb enough to not stop his own demise.

Yes, he’ll do what Campbell wants. There’s barely anything in him that genuinely thinks Allie’s doing a bad job. There’s certainly no desire to see himself as mayor. But there _ is _a need for drugs, and that need will keep him coming back to this place again, and again, and again. No matter the consequences. No matter how much better he knows he could be.

Harry drives home in silence, contemplating how his life turned into the absolute shitshow it now is. It’s been a real fucking hard year. His dad dies, then his family and the whole town disappears. Kelly, the only person aside from his sister he’s ever really loved, breaks up with him. Cassandra gets killed, and it’s partly his fault. Then the guy that _ killed _Allie’s sister gets executed--so there’s not just one, but two deaths on his hands. 

The pill container burns a hole in his pocket.

He gets home to a quiet house. The twenty or so housemates who live with him are all asleep--thankfully, because he doesn’t think he could handle a party right now. All Harry wants to do is collapse on his bed and sink into the painless sleep these pills--the drugs he is giving away control over his own life for--provide.

What he’d said to Allie was just a little short of a promise. He said he’d come back, be _ normal _ again--whatever the fuck that means.

_ Well, _ Harry thinks as he unscrews the orange container and tips out two tablets into the palm of his hand, _ I’ve never been good at keeping promises. _

He chews and swallows the pills dry and leans back into the pillows, bracing for the sweet serenity that will wash over him some time soon.

**Author's Note:**

> come follow me on tumblr @guzmannunier (usually buckebarns but have changed for the next wee while) and rant about harry being an idiot with me


End file.
